„It's not enough to talk about a thing,
you have to talk to the people.“
- Stanislaw Jerzy Lec -
Recently I came across some articles about psychological methods, body language and how you can use them in everyday life. Especially when dealing with other people. Some of the following tips should not be taken too seriously. Some methods can only be explained to you appropriate by someone who has been involved with body language or psychology for years or has studied this subject. Others are totally logical and you wonder why you didn't think of it yourself.
I for my part found it very interesting and entertaining. It really goes in completely different directions. So just read and judge for yourself. One or the other can actually prove itself very useful, so here is a small list of some of these methods. If you want to know more about this topic in general, I recommend the book "The Psychology Book: Big Ideas Simply Explained". Let's start right away.
When greeting someone you meet for the first time, look them in the eyes with a smile as you try to recognize their eye color. This makes you look one or
two seconds longer and the in-the-eye-looking combined with the smile makes you appear friendlier and more honest. People are more eager to like you.
Pay attention to the position of other people's feet you interact with. People subconsciously point their feet in the direction they are going or what
they want to pay attention to. If you speak to a person, their feet or at least one, if they are interested, will point in your direction after a short while. But if there is no interest,
they will point in another direction. If the feet point in a certain direction, this indicates that the person wants to move on. Just pay attention to their foot position when talking to
If you ask a person many questions, which are answered by them with YES!, this forms positive affirmations and the person will be more
positive after a short while, regarding yourself. This works very well for job interviews. "So you are looking for someone to take care of everything? - YES! And someone to relieve
you of your tasks? - YES! etc." It's like collecting positive points.
If you ask someone a question and they answer just with ("sort of/ maybe/ no idea"), in many cases it's enough to put on a friendly face and look
at the person with a questioning look. If you remain calm and look at the person without starting to speak, he or she will usually continue to talk. The person gets the feeling that
she/he still has something to deliver.
People judge others by their emotions, not necessarily by what they say. Keep an amusing story ready, smile at new acquaintances, pat them on the back as if
you've known them for a long time. If you leave others with a good feeling, they will remember you positively. The words aren't that important.
When someone is angry, the best way is not to argue but to stay calm. As hard as this may be. Whether in a relationship, with
friends or colleagues. Not accepting anger is the best way to solve such a conflict. If you remain calm, the other person may become angrier for a short time, but at some point he/she
must let go because there is no target. This does not mean that you should remain completely silent, but any counterattack will only fuel the fire and that will never bring a solution. So
"Stay Cool". Buddha once said about anger, "If someone gives you a gift and you accept it. Who then owns the gift?" It' s yours! So don't accept the
Never attack other people's self-image. Every person has his own opinion about how they look or appear to the outside world. If someone has a certain
behavior such as bragging, shyness, arrogance, etc. you will only hurt that person or they will be very sensitive or irritated if you talk about it. It may only reinforce your negative
opinion about the person. But you won't do them or yourself a favor. Especially in public this can become unpleasant, if an attack is fired back. So the rule is: live and let
live. If people repeatedly behave in a way you don't like, stop seeing them.
You automatically feel more self-confident if you pretend to know somebody very good. Even if you talk to them for the first
time. We go one step further and assume that you don't just know them, but you really like them. So when you step into a room with strangers, tell yourself: "They are all friends and
not enemies!" A friendly handshake, the pleasure of meeting again, so much that you have to tell... This makes you a less nervous and makes it easier for you to deal with new
acquaintances. Especially when dealing with the opposite sex, this makes you much more sympathetic and accessible. So stay relaxed. But don't exaggerate it of course. You can't
just behave with strangers the way, that longtime friends are only used to.
Touching makes you sympathetic and more accessible. Someone who takes the right to touch others looks very self-confident and open. Of course I'm not
talking about inappropriate touches. Here I mean a pat on the back when a buddy tells a joke. A hug, instead of shaking hands. A slap on the butt when your partner jokes about you. People
react very strongly to touches of any kind. It is noticeable when a person with low self-esteem strokes another person's arm (even if only by mistake) and then pulls it back immediately.
Touching, whether intentional or unintentional, should be allowed, that connects people quickly. Unless, of course, touching is inappropriate, like grabbing an ass. Anything is allowed as
long as both have fun and it doesn't seem unpleasant.
- Call people by their name. Just when you've met people, it signals that you're showing interest. They will be more friendly towards you. It has been proven that people have a special relation to their name and give it importance, even if they say they find their first name terrible. If you do this too, they are more likely to do you a favor.
That's it already. Just take what you like and what feels right. Try the things listed here and be amazed what an effect they can have.
I hope the article was helpful for you. If so, then share it, so others like you can also benefit from it. I wish YOU the best.
- LdR -