„I was there, I had to go.
I made no tracks.
But the wind heard my song.“
- Native American proverb -
"Life is short" - you can hear that a lot. You should just understand the obvious! We all have one thing in common for sure and that is the fact that each of us will die one day. But it's not supposed to become a depressing topic about death and suffering. On the contrary, it should be about the beautiful things that happen before. We should not think about death all the time, we should only know that our time here on earth is limited and that some things in life do not get us anywhere except robbing us of our time. In this article you'll learn that you should shape your life, so that it's only filled with beautiful things for you. And that you should not miss your chances to live a fulfilled life. Take your life into your own hands and lead it the way you want it to. Even if this sometimes seems very difficult or even impossible. It is possible!
Memento Moriendum Esse
"Remember that you are mortal"
In ancient Rome, the commanders were repeatedly told this saying when they returned home after a successful military campaign. This was to remind them that despite all the glory, they were still normal people and that they too would have to die one day. The sentence was meant to remind them, to always honor the gods and to know that the tide could turn very quickly. Fortune is deceptive.
And in fact, that's how life really is. Everything can happen so fast. From one second to the next the whole world can turn upside down. The worst thing is that most of the time you can't influence it. Even if! If something has happened, you can't undo it. Here are a few examples.
- Someone wins the lottery +
- You have a car accident -
- The boss gives you a sudden raise +
- You get fired -
- A child is born to someone +
- The house burns down -
Some very beautiful and some very bad things. From one moment to the next everything changes. You're loaded or you lose everything. Of course, it doesn't always have to be so extreme, but how many stories have you heard already. You just have to turn on the news. Everyday many cruel things happen in the world and there is always someone who cracks the lottery jackpot. Life is a game, where you win and lose. And therefore here an important sentence to remember:
There's no guarantee you'll still be here tomorrow.
Cruel? Too negative? - Unfortunately a fact. Of course, there is only a small chance that something will happen to you, but there is also no 100% guarantee it won't. Personally, I'm not a big fan of sayings like "Live every day as if it were your last". Then I would only throw huge parties and do nothing productive all day. But still you should get rid of those meaningless things that just eat up your time without you really enjoying them. Fill your life with things that are beautiful and you enjoy.
Avoid time wasters
Do what you really like
I know it's not always easy. You don't always have your dream job, your dream partner, your dream apartment, and and and and... Then everyone would be super happy all the time. But this is rarely the case. The worst thing is that people procrastinate (postpone tasks) instead of doing something and fulfilling their dream goals. They fill their lives with time-wasters. And this is exactly what has to stop. Your life will get better all at once if you understand the following:
Make a decision and do things only because you really want to do them.
Let me be more explicit. We sit in front of Facebook, Instagram, the TV or something similar. We sit in front of it without having made a real decision. We are dissatisfied because we actually have a lot of things to do and we just distract ourselves with it. But we do not really have fun. We scroll through thousands of messages or pictures, comment a bit and just try to forget what else is going on around us.
Don't get me wrong! I have no problems whatsoever with social media. I myself use them for the-essences-of-life.com (Would be happy if you would follow me on Instagram @theessencesoflife). Nowadays you need social media. Quite clearly. But do you always make a decision for it? "What decision?", you probably think. Well, the decision to stare at your phone because you really want to. Instead, you sit down, you already have the phone in your hand and you stare at it because that's what you do when you have nothing better to do. Ergo, time flies.
Then why don't you do something you really enjoy? Why are you wasting your time? I know the problem. You think to yourself, "I don't feel like doing a real task, but actually I should be doing it. Let me check my phone first." And what's the result? You wasted time without actually doing anything. You didn't do a task and you didn't have fun, because you probably felt guilty.
So how do you solve this problem? Well, I've already mentioned it above. Make a decision! Choose something. Quite clear, isn't it? So when you say you don't feel like taking on a new challenge, do it consciously. Say to yourself: "I should do something, but right now I really don't want to. So I do (please insert something here that you enjoy)."
This doesn't mean that you should put everything off. No, of course not. But if you don't feel like it, are tired or for whatever other reason, just make a decision. Don't watch your favorite show with a guilty conscience, but with popcorn and your partner cuddled up on the couch. If you have something to do, get it done and then treat yourself to a real reward. This means that if you watch pictures/videos on Instagram, do it only because you really want to and not out of boredom because you can't think of anything better.
Conclusion: The quintessence is simple. Enjoy your life and do what you really like instead of wasting your time. Do not have a bad conscience, but make a conscious decision for something and stick to it.
Live your own life
Do not waste your life for others
The problem can often be other people. They have expectations towards you or even demand certain things. It is also important to distinguish here:
- Do you do people a favor because you like them?
- Or do you do it because you feel obligated?
This is a subtle difference which you should recognize. Of course, sometimes you are obliged to help people. Friends are in need or the family needs support. Such things can happen of course. But it is about everyday situations. Do you always step back on your own needs to please others / to appear nice / or because you just can't say NO?
Don't bend the knee for anyone (not even for Khaleesi) unless you really want to. Life is too short and unpredictable to live it for others. That includes a little selfishness. You are the most important person in your life. You should remember that. Without you there is no life for you. That is probably obvious. Everything that happens, is what you see with your own eyes. So see things the way you want to see them and live the life you want to live. Have fun and go your way. Let others go their own way. Get used to say NO. And yes, sometimes you will offend people with that, but here comes the healthy egoism to the surface again: This decision to say NO, might have done you good in this moment or even in the long run. You will never, never, never be able to please all people. It would be unnecessary to try. Accept it and realize:
You don't always have to be liked by everyone.
It' s like that and it can't be changed. No matter what your beliefs are. But this is not a problem. It will only show you who really cares about your well-being. A partner who is constantly offended when you don't do what he wants, apparently doesn't give a shit about your well-being or at least much more about his own. If you love someone, you should have the empathy to put yourself in the other person's shoes. This also means that you should not try to manipulate the other person (whether partner, friends etc.). If you have such a partner, you should make it clear with him/her that it cannot go on in such a one-sided way or if you are such a person yourself, you should think about how your partner feels with this kind of behavior. A one-sided relationship of any kind, usually only pleases one person.
Conclusion: Go your way! Be kind to others, do them favors because you like them or want to and not because you feel forced. Give as much love as possible, but only up to the point that it does not turn into suffering.
Have no regrets
Take control of your life
It is said that old people on their deathbed almost always mentioned that they regretted the things they hadn't done more than those they had done. This makes sense, because you often think that you still have enough time to do everything or to do this or that. But we have learned that life is unpredictable. As long as you keep this in mind, you will think twice next time if you want to turn down a spontaneous trip or not.
I myself often like to plan things and make firm commitments. But from time to time I also like to be involved in spontaneous activities. The "screw it, it'll work out"-mentality really helps me there. And most of the time it was an incomparable experience. Take the trip to Spain, let me persuade you to go paragliding, just stay up until the clouds turn purple again. If not now, then when? So we extend the sentence, which should be your new mantra from now on.
Memento moriendum esse, quare carpe diem!
(Know that you are mortal, so seize the day!)
For example: Sunday afternoon and you are super bored. So you lie around and wish everything was different or better or simply less boring. Forget that! We're reprogramming you right now! Make a decision, like mentioned above! Because you can consciously perceive things differently. "Sunday, finally I don't have to do anything and I have no obligations" Exactly. Enjoy your free time to the fullest. Treat yourself to a long bath, read a nice book, go out, hike, ride your bike, do sports or stay in bed all day and watch Netflix. Just make a conscious decision. And more importantly, commit to it. Do what you really want! That's the whole trick.
Very often I see people doing a job they really hate. Of course, I'd like to say to you right now, "Do something else". But it's not that simple in real life. Maybe you have children or other obligations and can't just quit your job, no matter how much you hate it. I understand that. But I also know that your life doesn't have to stay like this forever. Try to move into another line of work very slowly or get out altogether. There are countless possibilities. It won't work overnight, but simply wasting your life is not the solution. Search and you will find. Just don't give up before. For example, you could do a part-time job twice a week. That way you can have a change of pace or even do something that interests you. 2,5 days in the office and 2,5 days as a zookeeper because you love animals.
If you don't really have a profession that you like very much or see a deeper meaning behind it, such as a doctor, then it will only make you very unhappy in the long run. Always be aware that with a little effort, it is possible to change course. That's why I understand people even less who do their job, because everybody does a job. Sure, you have to earn money from somewhere, but just doing something to do something is the worst of all solutions.
Especially those who only profile themselves through their job position with others and who themselves talk privately about nothing else but their job, obviously have nothing else to talk about. With this kind of people I only ask myself one thing. Are they really happy? If they are and work is their life, then congratulations from my side. However, when I actually ask this question, I usually get very baffled answers that rather suggest something else.
Conclusion: If you care about something, do it. Don't be afraid to change your branch even in your mid-40s or 50s. Of course it can always go wrong, but it can also go well. Especially if you believe in it, then it will go well. Fortune favors the brave. You just have to work constantly on something, then you will achieve it. Read books on the subject that interests you or ask people who have done the same. Learn and grow!
The purpose of life
You give it yourself a purpose
Often you ask yourself what the meaning of life actually is. But I'll say it right away: There doesn't seem to be any specific answer. But what does exist, is the meaning you give to your life yourself. Matching this, you can read my article "Find out what you really want in life" afterwards.
For some it's having children, for others it is accumulating wealth. But it is especially important to keep in mind that the days don't last forever and that postponing doesn't make sense. I myself have friends who are already living like retired people. They work, but they hardly ever go out and avoid almost any activities that involve some effort, such as going out. There is no curiosity to discover something new or to experience something really exciting. Life passes monotonously and without ups and downs.
Of course, you should also stay at home and allow yourself some time for yourself. But when this becomes a constant, you miss a lot. A little spontaneity should be there. The company of others can be inspiring. One minute you were in a bad mood, then you see your friends and BANG! everything is fine again. Socialize, if you don't do this enough. Get out of your comfort zone and get to know the joys of life. Have fun, everything else is a waste of time.
No matter how long or short a life may be, you must not blame yourself for not having lived it. Always make decisions, starting right now. Don't waste time and have no regrets. If you don't feel like doing something, then you shouldn't do it either. Everyone wants you to do this or that, but sometimes it goes against the grain. Then don't do it! Don't be frustrated afterwards, but be happy to have made the right decision for you.
And here is a little guide for living:
The greatest challenge of your life should be to love yourself and to nurture that self. Develop your strengths and follow the paths you always wanted to follow. You can only die satisfied if you have lived satisfied. Jump over your shadow and do not neglect yourself. Share your love with others, but never let them take advantage of you. If you have really gone your own path, all the way to the end, then you will also make your peace with death. You must accept that you are mortal and don't have eternity. We live now! Gain strength from this instead of letting it paralyze you, for when you understand this, you have a decisive advantage. And you can live your life the way you really want to right now. Decide for yourself! In the end it's YOUR life.
Each book has a front and a back, a beginning and an end.
But what is important, is what happens in between.
I hope the article was helpful for you. If so, why don't you share it so others can benefit as well? I wish YOU the best.
- LdR -
Keep reading and find out what your purpose in life is!